2/3/13

A morning with the Kinks, bread that some animal, probably a cat, got into last night, coffee, tiny lizards checking me out because I’m sitting so still reading that they’re not sure if I’m alive or dangerous, and a giant spider bite on my ass. Why do they always bite me there?

Have insomnia lately, my mind just won’t rest. I drink chamomile, I count sheep, I meditate, concentrate on my breathing, then it’s 2am. So I sleep in and the cycle feeds itself. I often find myself fantasizing about that moment I meet my prince charming and our happy life after that. He takes on many forms of guys I know or hardly know because I have no one in particular in mind… The future is so wide open. These musings run through my mind concurrently, busily, twisting around each other and denying my sleep until the wee hours of the morning.

How does one stop obsessing about such things? I bet you’re all tired of reading about it too. Sorry :( I just have way too much time to dwell on my alone-ness, and no one to distract me,

I’m designing the t-shirts for the girls conference. Haven’t designed anything in so long… hope they come out ok!

Picked up a dress this week, just a couple alterations and it’s perfect, even for America. Oh America… I can’t wait to start something new! I’m terrified I won’t get into grad school, what will I do then? But I’m starting early w/ research, applications, recommendations, honing my interviewing skills, resume, etc. Something will come along, I’ll end up somewhere doing something. I can’t wait to wear whatever I want, and for coldness, and showers, and ovens, and washing machines, and sidewalks, and boots, and sandwiches, and short dresses, and tights, and hairdryers, and coffeeshops, and SCHOOL. I’m really excited to get involved in an academic setting again. I think more and more every day how I want to stay in academia, as a researcher or professor or something… Something that will give me freedom to keep learning, exchanging ideas, travel, good schedule, good salary, oh the future! So exciting! 10 more months…

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One thought on “2/3/13

  1. Rachel, I think you are doing quite well, even with planning your future. Your way ahead of where I ever was. I never really planned my future, just took it as it came. That isn’t always the smart way to go about it. Even now, I just plug along, but I really do need to start thinking about how I will ever be able to retire or what I want to do with my time now that its free. (that is after work) I bet these next 10 months will go very quickly for you. As you get older time just seems to go faster and faster.. Can’t seem to slow it down, don’t know how i ended up in my 50’s, but here they are like it or not.

    Don’t worry about your prince charming, don’t know that such a guy exists. But a good guy will be out there for you and in the mean time you do know how to take care of yourself which is a great thing. Take care and hang in there. Hugs to you.

    Marybeth

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