1/18/12

Oops, another long gap in entries, but these past weeks have been more about doctor visits than anything else, so I guess there isn’t too much to tell. In regards to the possibility of seeing animals that I mentioned last time – I saw a TON! Herds of Zebra, giraffe and elephants. Impala, warthogs, wildebeest.. and today I left Dar early in the morning to finally go back to site and saw even more animals, even closer this time. Zebras staring at us, unconcerned from 20 feet away. I think I made eye contact.

Again I am sitting in the guesti in Iringa, half way to my site, traveling with a fellow PCV, Natalie, as we both talk about how excited we are to finally be returning to our villages. Staying in Dar for that long, with essentially nothing to do, was wayyyy tooooo long. Dar is expensive on my volunteer salary, and though I get reimbursed travel and lodging, there’s not much else to do there other than eat expensive food and shop – both of which got old within the first week.

Random PCVs passed through town during my stay, so I did get to meet some new people and sometimes had company during the day. One of the education classes had their mid-service conference while I was there, so I sneaked in on some of their festivities. I saw The Immortals in 3D at the movie theater and ate the best chicken sandwich of my life at a legit mall – each minute I spent in Dar pulled me further and further from the village, and I’m sure my Kiswahili has suffered these past few weeks.

The second week in Dar I was fortunate enough to stay with some expats that work for USAID. The first couple, Mark and Molly, are RPCVs who served in Samoa. Molly was an AMAZING COOK, I was very spoiled there. I also just about had a heart attack when I walked into their REAL KITCHEN with a KITCHENAID STAND MIXER… drool. They were super nice and know PC, so it was a nice balance of diplomatic comforts and good company. The second family I stayed with were equally amazing – B.J., Aly and their son Zane who had a super-fun nerf gun-infested birthday party while I was there. The home-cooked food and hospitality were more than I could ever have hoped for, and I was still able to do my own thing – win! I watched plenty of Arrested Development, was able to phone home, and slept in an air-conditioned room in a giant bed… again, drool.

Being in Dar, however, led me to contemplate the strange and unfamiliar land of the expat. It is a land of little interaction with host country nationals, of material comfort, and it reeks of exclusivity. People come and go and the pool is always changing, constant flux. There are families, spoiled children, normal children, old creepy men, prostitutes, young professionals, drug dealers, single people looking to get laid, married people looking to get laid, people looking for something more real, and some, like me, who just don’t know what they want. The longer I am here, the more confused I am about the possibility of meeting someone in this strange bubble of an environment. This life is so unique, and often impermanent, that I’m not sure how you’d ever be sure that what you have with someone is real or strong enough to make it outside this bubble. Assuming you ever get out, that is.

I received a very nice kiss from an English pilot at the expat bar, and went on a date with him a few days later. But I was so perplexed about the whole thing, i.e. we are on a date but I will probably not see you again, I like you but it doesn’t make sense to get attached, is this really a date or just some traveling hook-up and I don’t know the rules? Do I really want a date or just another kiss? I hardly know you, but I don’t have time to know you… Are you married? What’s your story? etc. etc., that I’m afraid I was a boring/confusing date. I think I looked at him with scrutiny the entire time, not because his behavior warranted scrutiny, but because when I’m thinking I can’t hide the expression of the wheels turning in my head. I was also overly nervous because I wasn’t sure how to act because I wasn’t sure what I expected or wanted out of the whole thing.

I think I should just forget about boys, in conclusion. It’s very distracting, and way more confusing here than somewhere where everyone is somewhat settled. Ultimately I’d like to have a stable relationship, but I think I should focus on my work here first and foremost and get all of these silly thoughts out of my head.

Oh, I also saw the movie Layer Cake while I was in Dar. Daniel Craig. Worth seeing.

Dar has fabulous Indian food… mmm. We also found an adorable outdoor Ethiopian Restaurant, Rohobot, that was to die for. It left me wondering why Tanzanian food is so unexciting most of the time.

So the reason I went to Dar in the first place was for medical issues. The digestive issues are much better now, the heartburn/pain when eating is worse, the finger thing is getting better after a couple treatments, the ankle should be fine eventually, and one toenail fell off probably for good while the other still hangs on. When combined, I am better than I was before and I am so ready to get to site and actually start being a volunteer!!